Trying to make the lifelong friends college has always seemed to promise? Let’s talk about it!
As a now senior in college (terrifying to say) I’ve had my fair share of friendship wins and absolute fails. After consulting the friends I consider family, we’ve all decided that there are 6 tips to actually make friends in college.
So without any further introduction, here’s what I HIGHLY recommend (no matter the year) to help make friends in college. Spoiler Alert: It’s all about confidence.
Initiate Conversations
Sometimes the hardest part of making a new friend is just starting the conversation. So many of us feel self-conscious, so we overthink a situation too much before it even starts. I was the queen of this freshman year, but eventually realized if I wanted a new friend, I’d have to make the jump first.
Here’s how I got over being so awkward at first and started breaking the ice in college:
Compliments and Common Interests: Complimenting someone is a great way to start a conversation. Notice something you genuinely like – I typically go for jewelry, their computer case, or something about their outfit. These small compliments are a great way to get someone excited to start a chat and you can begin something deeper from here.
Coffee Dates: Once you’ve broken the ice and have developed a friendly rapport with your swoon-to-be new friend, suggest a casual hangout like a coffee date. It’s low-pressure, low-commitment, and gives you a chance to chat in a relaxed setting. Plus, who doesn’t love coffee?
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
College is all about growing by stepping out of the little box of things that make you feel safe. As someone with social anxiety, this was my biggest fear coming into college. I know it can feel challenging (and exhausting) at times, but good friends require effort to create.
Here’s simple suggestions to help you step out of your comfort zone:
Attending Events Alone: Although It might feel scary to go to events alone, it’s actually a great way to meet new people with similar interests. When you’re by yourself, you’re more likely to strike up conversations with others. Push yourself to attend social events, clubs, or activities even if you don’t have a buddy to go with. I promise, you are in the majority of people going alone and EVERYONE (yes, everyone) is dying to make a friend to walk home with.
Welcome Events: Colleges host a lot of welcome events at the start of the year, especially for the new class of freshmen. These are perfect opportunities to meet fellow students. Go to as many as you can – you’ll meet a lot of people who are also looking to make new friends.
Reach Out + Be Approachable
Learn from my mistakes with this tip. I was the most unapproachable, mean person the first week of college (both my current roommates can vouch for this) because of how nervous I was to be there. After a verbal smackdown from my mom on the phone, I quickly changed my attitude and now have the best friends in the whole wide world.
Here’s how to actually be approachable (unlike myself at first) to make friends in college:
Open Door Policy: If you live in a dorm, try leaving your door open when you’re home. If this feels too weird to you, I’ve seen and put up signs that said: “Knock and say hi! I’m friendly – I promise.” You’re basically doing all the heavy lifting for the other party, so they just have to make the final step.
Approaching New People: Don’t be afraid to approach new people, even if it feels awkward. I’m not saying start introducing yourself to anyone walking by, but casually (and when the time feels right) say hello and see what happens. The worst is that they say hi back and go about their business. If so, I can guarantee you’ll never see them again because of how large college truly is.
Embrace Including Everyone
This tip is specifically for those of you going to college in-state with a lot of existing friendships coming with you. While this is great and you may feel ahead of the game, being open to everyone is the only way to feel like you’re moving forward, instead of being stuck at who you were at 15.
Here’s what I suggest for those of you with high school friends coming to college:
Ditching the Clique Mentality: High school friend groups can be limiting. College is a fresh start, so approach anyone and everyone you want to meet. You’ll be surprised at how welcoming and friendly people can be when you leave old habits behind. I’m not saying ditch your old friends, but be open to expanding your circle.
Be Persistent and Patient
Rome wasn’t built in a day; neither will your life-long college friend group. Building friendships takes time and effort, but I promise the right ones will not feel like work at all.
Here’s how to stay patient when the life-long friends don’t happen in the blink of an eye:
Giving Yourself Time: Don’t freak out if you don’t make friends in the first week. I didn’t and stuck to my freshman roommate (whom I still love dearly) like Velcro. It’s a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself and give it time it needs to happen naturally.
Separating from Group: Sometimes your roommates or existing friend group might not want to go to certain events or meet the same people. Don’t let this stop you from exploring on your own. It’s okay to branch out and pursue friendships independently. My freshman roommates are (to this day) some of my best friends, but I also have wonderful ride-or-dies that I wouldn’t have met without going out on my own.
Understand Everyone Wants Friends
I can promise you every person in college (no matter the age) is dying to make a new friend. I’m a senior and still love making friends! You are never alone in wanting to have friends, so don’t let this feeling cloud your judgment. Don’t hesitate to make the first move; chances are, they’ll appreciate it.
Making friends in college might seem daunting at first, but with a little effort and an open mind, you’ll find your social circle growing in no time. Remember, everyone else is in the same situation, and by putting yourself out there, you’re taking the first step towards building lasting friendships. Before you know it, you’ll have a group of friends to share your college journey with.
Do you have any tips to making friends in college? Let me know in the comments! And to keep up with all the latest on the blog, check out my recent posts: